Tuesday, May 30, 2006

the river

It was a very hot day today,,so my son and I went down to our river, the Harpeth river. I have been taking the kids there for years. Alot of people canoe the river and that is the take out point where different canoe rental co. come and pick canoers up at. Its all little rocks on the beach. I always find alot of nice smooth river glass there. I trained the kids to look for river glass for me,,and today my 21 yr. old son, Kyle still found some for me. He knows how much I Love it.
I just don't know what I would do without my Kyle. He and I are so close. His sister and I are not talking right now. Well I would love to talk to her,,but she has wrote me off because I cannot accept her "man". He is a loser,,she is just 19 and he is 27, doesn't work and has been in and out of jail,,,he has no future,,and that is not what I want for my baby girl. I Love her so much and she has so much potential,,but I just cannot accept him. I sound awful I know,,but there is alot more to the story,,and I just can't write about it because it makes me so depressed.
But my son always has been here for me,,,he never forgets my birthday or Mothers day,,he is still finding his way in life,,but I am so proud of him. And he was a little devil when he was young,,and Kalyn was a little Angel,,funny how things change.
Thank you Kyle for spending the afternoon with me,,,even if it did storm.

Kalyn,,,I miss You so much,,and I hope that one day if you have a daughter you will understand why I feel the way I do.


AnnieElf said...

Beth - heart-rending as it is, she is young and with love, patience and prayer, she will wake up. Even though she has closed the door between you, make sure she knows that it's only locked on HER side. She will be grateful for that one day. And you don't sound terrible at all. You sound exactly like a wise and clearsighted mother should sound. Blessings to you.

AnnieElf said...

And now about Kyle. At 21, he still has time to figure things out. My son is 26 and just now going into his chosen field. There were a few twists and turns but he followed what made him happiest and that brought him to the right place. If you haven't, ask Kyle to think about what he likes best. Once he has that answer, he will know how to proceed.

And about that river rock - you are soooo lucky. I am jealous, jealous JEALOUS. Your own stash. Do you find it in different colors?

vicci said...

Beth...That river looks mighty inviting to me! I love rivers! I pray that your daughter will understand someday how important her Mother is...and God Bless the Sons!!!!! You sound like a NORMAL MOM to me! (not terrible)

Naturegirl said...

We all want the best for our children and I completely understand how you are feeling! I wish your daughter the happiness and wonderful life that you want for her. That river walk with your son seems what your heart and soul needed.I wish you peace comfort and the JOy that you have given me these past weeks when I recieved your
delicious ~gift box~ generously FILLED with goodies!! What can I say if you only knew how HaPPy you have made me! Thank you! Beth.hugging you NG